Currently 5plus in the morning.... woke up a few times during the night for a bad cough or for no reason or for my antibiotics drip which kinda hurts... this hospital life is drving me nuts.... my right side of the body hurts so bad w an infected leg and shoulder coupled w the chest tube that sometimes just make sleeping impossible for me. My mood is like a roller coaster or maybe that would be an understatement... was happy that visitors came and was an hopeful guy... then became grumpy throughout the night cos i just couldnt get a smooth few hours sleepppp till now a timid shit so afraid of complications in my disease and dying and so wanting to leave the hospital healthily i dunno what shd i feel and my mind is in a whirl... my whatsapp convo are nonsensical from what i see and now im so afraid of even coughing hard cos i dun wanna rupture my newly reexpanded right lung... i dunno what to say so i came here to post to calm myself down but in this dark, cold, lonely hospital, motivation is hard to come by.... im weak like hell and im scared like shit...
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